If you would have told me 2 years ago that this is what my life would look like, I think I would have laughed at you. That girl was scared of everything and If she could have lived at home her whole life she would have. These past nine months of my life have changed me more than I could ever explain to you and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Before the race, I never truly felt like I belonged anywhere, I didn’t have much of a community and I spent a lot of time living in fear of what people thought which meant my relationship with the Lord was always something I did privately, and I had no idea who I actually was.
In Gainesville, the Lord started uprooting lies I believed about myself and taught me who I truly am as His daughter. If you would have asked me what my hobbies were in September I probably would’ve told you that I didn’t know. Ask me now and I would excitedly tell you I love creating safe spaces for people through home making. The Lord told me that He crowns me in wildflowers and that He is the perfect father. I don’t have to strive for Him to come because He is already right next to me.
In Costa Rica, He continued to uproot lies that i didn’t know I believed and called me out of the orphan heart I had been living in. He wrapped me up in His arms and held me close when fear started to creep in again. He showed me that He not only likes me but He loves me. That if I were the only person on the Earth, He still would have died just for me. That nothing I could ever do could separate me from His love.
In the Dominican Republic, I heard from Him less but His presence was still so near. I walked through fire being broken down but leaning into everything the Father is. He took me back to my first love and what it was like to simply be loved by Him. He pressed dreams into my heart that I didn’t know I had and restored what was broken from religion with simply a relationship. He showed up in ways I never could have imagined.
Not only am I closer and more in love with the Father than I have ever been before, but I also gained 30 new brothers and sisters in the process. I gained a family that would fight for me each other through the growth, that would love so hard and leave the race more than ready to be bright lights for the kingdom.
Don’t get me wrong the race has been so far from any expectation I could have held, but I have gained so many beautiful things these past nine months. I will never regret this season of my life and the memories I get to hold onto forever.
