This past week, my team and I lived in Lake Charles, LA doing disaster relief with Samaritan’s Purse. It was a hard week but so filling for us. We spent the week mucking out houses that were damaged by hurricanes and spending time listening to the homeowners and their stories. We met so many people that impacted our lives greatly, and that we hope we get to see again one day. 

While we were there, the Lord was teaching me what it looks like to hold onto nothing but him. Our squad LOVES worship, we have so many nights where we all stand in a room and praise God together. Those nights are some of my favorites. Anyways there are a few songs that we love to sing and one of them is called nothing I hold onto by United pursuit. We sing this song a lot but the weight of the words didn’t hit me until this past week. 

There was one night in Lake Charles where we all gathered around a piano after a long day and worshipped but this time when we sang the words...

I lean not on my own understanding 

My life is in the hands of the maker of heaven 

i give it all to you God
Trusting that you’ll make something beautiful out of me

 Theres nothing I hold onto

 I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open

i have noticed that every time I try to hold onto something that isn’t him. it quickly disappears because it’s temporary. This week, my hands have been literally empty. Ive been fighting exhaustion while also pouring into others which leaves me with nothing but Jesus. There has been nothing to hold onto, nothing I could carry an expectation for. Not comfort, family or even sleep. These are all things that could disappear instantly. But truly God is all I need and when my hands are empty I can reach for him with so much more. He is the only thing I can grasp that isn’t temporary. Even if I am just holding on tightly to the bottom of his robe with both hands that’s more than enough to let go of everything else.