SING A NEW SONG

Once upon a time, I was a worship leader. It was how I fell in love with the Father again and began to understand what intimacy with the Father looks like. Over time what used to bring me so much joy and freedom became something that was harder to feel the Father through. The church team I was a part of began turning their focus from glory to God to glory to the people. Every practice if I didn’t raise my hands at an exact time or sing all the notes on pitch I was told I was unqualified. I quit worship team because of my conviction with worshipping people more than the Father and never really sang again. If I did sing there was only fear or frustration that welled up, I didn’t feel happy doing it anymore.

I kept the fact that I was a Worship Leader a secret from my squad for the first three months of the race. But about a month ago, the Lord decided to call me out of hiding. Kaylin was telling this story to the squad about how we were singing in the back room at ministry and this man came in and started dancing. My immediate reaction was “oh no people are going to find out I sing.” I ended up going to sit with the Lord on it and the night ended with Him promising to redeem worship for me. But in order to do that I needed to step out in boldness and confidence.

I told a few people on the squad about this promise and they held me accountable for following through on worshipping again. Last week, there was a day where people were really pouring into me a lot about worship. Chloe came up to me that night and basically was like hey I will play guitar and just come sit with me you don’t have to sing just see if you feel like it once we get out there. So I ended up singing again with her and it made me feel so full of joy and so much freedom. She ended up getting one of our worship coordinators who was actually looking for another person to be highlighted to sing with her at debrief and I was that person. 

Debrief rolls around and I not only got to sing a new song to the Lord, one that was not covered in chains of expectations or qualifications but one that brought all the honor and glory to the Father. A song that pulled me in closer to the Fathers arms instead of putting up barriers of anger or frustration. I am not going to lie, it was terrifying but step by step the Lord stripped down the walls that worship was boxed into and gave me not only a story but a song worth singing.